A Gay Naked Batman Protest: Dephree’s Latest Excuse For Disturbing Our Peace
Dephree, self proclaimed “man of the people”, is no stranger to danger and climbing modern industrial structures. You may presume many other similarities between Dephree and the Dark Knight due to their shared vigilante altruism; but it’s quite the contrary… since Dephree has taken it upon himself to protest the release of the new Batman film.
In the name of “fighting toxic masculinity”, Dephree has began rallying prominent figures from the gay and transgendered community alongside Lawrence Sullivan, the insta-famous “Florida Joker”, to join them in protesting the release of the Batman film.
Dephree may draw a striking resemblance to the Dark Knight, but unlike Gotham City’s caped crusader, he has a different (more humble) physique which he proudly boasts in his last single “Dad Bod”. More notably, to one up the masked vigilante, Dephree first started dangling from buildings and highway signs in his underwear over the busy interstate in downtown Los Angeles, maskless, without a speck of anonymity. Some may say that Dephree maybe even exposes himself a little too much. America first got their glimpse of the man Time Magazine and Vice dubbed “eco warrior rapper” without any disguise, nude, while he was upholding a higher vantage point and moral ground in his underwear over passerbys, from one of those big green highway signs towering over the freeway in downtown Los Angeles. This act of dissidence earned him some respect among the environmental activist community, as well as some time in prison coupled with a 6-figure slew of fines and angry morning commuters who were late to their real jobs.
With a great deal of highs and lows, Dephree’s campaign for a green Earth hasn’t come without resistance. Most recently upon his release, Yahoo News ran a slander piece discrediting the environmental activist and rapper after he had moved down South to start a family. The writer disparaged his character and called him “another Florida Man”; rhetorically imposing the idea amongst readers that blatantly suggests Dephree’s character is weak and aimless. The term “Florida man” itself is a reference intended to ridicule and shun not only Dephree; but anyone whose brandished the term, since it relates to a ongoing viral meme highlighting a number of sensational trials and tribulations from outrageous Floridian hillbilly outlaws.
“That’s toxic masculinity too how they tried to play me” Dephree claims. “It was only after being accused of being that wanted ‘Florida man’ and facing hella toxic masculinity from the news, that my eyes were truly opened to how critical of a problem it is that we are all facing as a people”, he continued, “that’s why I decided to raise awareness on it here today”.
To raise awareness on toxic masculinity, Dephree has been spotted all around central Florida outside of movie theater parking lots posing half naked in a bat mask, protesting the premier of Batman… regardless of Governor DeSantis’ new legislation which grants immunity to people who run him over with their cars. He refuses to take heed of the ramifications of his actions and the possibility of being mowed down by another rogue vigilante civilian who would take advantage of the new Desantis legislation. Instead of being subordinate to these orders, Dephree continues to complacently waltz around in his bare body, now in the name of battling toxic masculinity. Dephree believes that by exposing his less than perfect body, he is showing off “God’s work” which is “a little bit more on the curvy and sensual side”.. he claims that this “helps signal a great boost of confidence for many people with body image issues” contrary to the rigid 8 pack of iron abs a traditional batsuit showcases.
“That’s textbook toxic masculinity and we’re not having anymore of that” he boasts to moviegoers on dates, or out with their family, who are trying to enjoy their time off from work. When one family asks Dephree what would make him happy or who he would rather see portray Batman, without hesitation he responds “either Kevin James or Steve Harvey, something like that is what most men actually relate to.” He explains that he was also content with Michael Keaton and Baffleck, “I’m just overall incredibly upset about a pretty boy like Robert Pattinson entering this role, as if Batman wasn’t already toxically masculine enough”.
To continue his campaign against the Batman film and toxic masculinity Dephree released a single entitled Batman, which features LGBT actors and actresses playing traditionally female roles like Catwoman. Aside from Lawrence Sullivan, Dephree featured Adriana Sparkle and Ja’staria Sherrington in his latest video. “Trans violence is on the rise and we all have to use our voices to make the world a safe place for one another” Dephree explains. “I felt that this sort of casting would be thought provoking to the audience and would really help level out all of the toxic masculinity in the Batman film” he says. “If you are against toxic masculinity don’t even bother spending the eleven dollars on watching the Batman you can watch my free Batman music video with trans people, powerful women, Lawrence Sullivan and all of us coming together to fight toxic masculinity instead peddle brainwashing corporate propaganda garbage”. He continued, “on a separate note, why wouldn’t these Hollywood producers cast Lawrence Sullivan to play the Joker? I don’t know of anyone who is more committed to that role and as dedicated as Lawrence who deserves the part as much as he does. Lawrence was like Johnny Depp on our production set; everybody adored him, he stole the entire show away from me”.
We spoke to a Florida moviegoer and angry father Brian Parker who was visibly fed up with Dephree’s parking lot antics. “Their musings and the problems that they’re addressing— excuse me, but they’re irrelevant to me and they just sound like woes from C-List actors who couldn’t score the main roles in the film.” He continued, “Seems to me like that’s what’s really going on over here… that’s what they’re really mad about… they’re sore losers. I’m so confused on who the hell they are in the first place to dictate what I do with my time. I work my ass off 50 hours a week to enjoy a day off… this is bullsh*t. I’m just here trying to enjoy a day off with my wife and kids; not have a moral discussion with them about masculinity or body image issues and explain gender orientation to my kids because these perverts thought it would be a good day to bring up these kinds of topics. F*ck them”.